So, you got the job. YAY!! I’m sure you’re hyped, and that’s great. Revel in that feeling; you’ve earned it.
However, as the start of the school year grows nearer and nearer, you may start feeling a little less excited and a little more anxious. That’s totally normal. I’m here to give you the REAL run-down on what you can expect, AND how to handle what’s coming your way!
1. The October Meltdown
The Event
Sometime around October, you suddenly realize you’ve been operating on adrenaline (and maybe caffeine) since August.
What You’ll Think
“I made a terrible mistake. I can’t do this. Everyone else seems fine, like they know what they’re doing. Maybe this isn’t the profession for me. What am I going to do? I went into debt for this!”
What You Should Do
Acknowledge and accept how you are feeling, and give yourself grace. Reality hits most of us on a delay. It’s like you took a huge breath at the start of the school year, dove under water, and now your air has run out and you need to come up to the surface again.
October is when reality hits. The excitement of the new position has worn off, but you still haven’t fully established yourself and your teacher persona yet. You don’t have your routines down, you’re questioning your rules and consequences, and you now have a stack of grading piling up and no idea when you’ll be able to get to it.
You may feel like you’re starting to drown. Like you’re failing at this, but don’t go there. Take a deep breath. You aren’t failing. Teaching is hard. It takes 3-4 years to really get the hang of it and feel like you know what your doing and have a routine that works for you.
For now, prioritize SLEEP, simplify your lessons where you can, and stop trying to make every class hour THE BEST ONE EVER. Nobody else is making 180 lessons a year that are worthy of an Instagram reel. You shouldn’t try to do that either!
(PS: It is okay to take some things, give 5/5 points for completion, and then return them without comments. You have my permission to do it once in a while!)
2. The Lesson You Thought Would Be Amazing
The Event
You spend 20+ hours creating the most engaging lesson you’ve ever seen, something you’d have LOVED as a teen.
The students hate it. Nobody participates. Your administrator is there, and most of the notes are notes for improvement, not praise.
What You’ll Think
“What am I doing wrong? Do they hate me? Do they think I’m weird? Maybe they are too used to screens and can’t appreciate great teaching anymore.”
What You Should Do
Accept that just because a lesson flopped with one group or for this time around, the students are not necessarily “right” that it was a poor lesson. Maybe something else was going on that distracted them, like a big dance or game that night. Maybe you just needed a little practice and will deliver it perfectly next year.
On the other hand, you also need to accept that some of your most creative lessons, ones you are really proud of, will be flops. Maybe the students aren’t properly prepared for what you’ve tried to do, haven’t done something like that before, or are feeling shy with a new teacher and a new year.
It’s okay! Some of your “best” lessons won’t hit, and some of your most “boring” or “ordinary” ones might be huge hits that the students talk about for weeks. I’ve had this happen to me 100s of times. It’ll shock you sometimes what they LOVE…
Keep the activities and lessons that work. Make notes to yourself so you can modify the ones that don’t before you try again next year. Don’t take any of it personally.
3. The First Angry Parent
The Event
You open your email or listen to your voicemail messages and discover there is a parent out there who is absolutely convinced you are the devil himself, the worst teacher on the planet, and you personally have ruined his or her child’s life FOREVER.
What You’ll Think
“I’m getting fired. At the very least, I’m about to get dragged onto the carpet by the principal tomorrow…”
What You Should Do
Slow down. Breathe.
Gather documentation.
Stick to the facts when you communicate with the parent.
Avoid emotional responses.
Many veteran teachers will tell you that the first angry parent feels like the end of the world. You’re sweating. Shaking. Can’t get enough air. You can’t even sleep that night. But trust me: by year five, things like this will not be fun or easy, but they won’t ruin your week, either. It’ll be just another Tuesday, and you’ll feel confident you can handle the problem.
READ MORE: HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PARENTS
4. The First Time You Lose Your Cool
The Event
You swore you would always be calm, patient, and endlessly understanding as a teacher. You would NEVER be like those mean, close-minded, stuffy teachers YOU had. You know, the ones who were easily flustered. The ones who came down too hard on students. The ones who couldn’t take a joke…
Then Kevin starts making fart noises and animal sounds during your directions for the fifth time in two weeks…
What You’ll Think
“I’m not cut out for this. I don’t have the patience. I’ve become everything I hated and said I’d NEVER be.”
What You Should Do
Remember that being firm is not the same thing as being mean. Having consequences doesn’t mean you are an authoritarian, stuffy, or “not with the times.”
Students NEED boundaries. Like all kids, they search for them by stepping over them. But they DO want them to be there. NOBODY likes it when a teacher lets the class be out of control. And nobody respects that teacher either.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for a class is stop a behavior immediately and decisively. And sometimes that might mean getting a little loud and taking a little bit of a tough tone.
Obviously, don’t overdo it. You want to be firm, fair, and collected when you deal with discipline issues. But don’t beat yourself up for having to be firm with students sometimes. Any veteran teacher will tell you that you will not make it through a career in teaching by being little miss (or mister) sweetie who never tells anyone “no.”
5. The Student You Talk to Most Gets in Trouble
The Event
One of your favorite students (or the one everyone thinks is your favorite) breaks a rule. You really believe in this kid. You really like him or her. Or maybe he or she is a handful, but you don’t want to ruin the good relationship you’ve built with him or her. But now he or she has dropped an “f-bomb” in the middle of class, and everyone is watching to see what you’ll do.
What You’ll Think
“Maybe I can make an exception… It was an accident…”
What You Should Do
Don’t. Don’t make that exception.
Students notice consistency far more than they notice kindness. The NUMBER ONE THING high schoolers care about is whether or not you are FAIR. No lie. This is what I’ve learned after 13 years in the classroom. FAIRNESS is top of mind for teens.
The fastest way to lose your credibility and make students actively HATE you is selective enforcement of your/the school’s rules.
When something like this happens, remember: holding ALL students accountable will earn you the entire class’s respect.
PS: You might not have “favorites.” I never really did. What I mean is students who are perceived as your favorites by the other kids. You know, the ones who participate a lot, talk to you a lot, and hang around before or after class to speak with you. These kids will be seen as your “favorite” whether you like them or not. (Often, but not always, they are your most challenging kids, ones you don’t particularly like! But the others will see them as your “favorite” if you talk to them a lot, especially if you are good at hiding your feelings of annoyance toward difficult students, which I always was…)
6. The First Time Students Call You “Mean”
The Event
A student tells everyone you’re the meanest teacher in the school. Or some variation on this. Something like, “Everyone hates your class.” Or, “Everyone is scared of you.”
Your crime?
You asked them to put their phones away when other teachers don’t. (Or something similar… I was once called “mean” for assigning homework reading because the previous teacher never did…)
What You’ll Think
“Maybe I AM too strict. If the other teachers in the building (or before me) didn’t do it this way, maybe I’m in the wrong?”
What You Should Do
Ask yourself:
- Am I respectful?
- Am I consistent?
- Are my expectations reasonable?
If the answer is yes, keep going.
Many students define “mean” as “holds me accountable.” I’ve been told by MANY students at the end of the year that they “hated me” at first because I asked them to put their phones away or because they earned a B and not an A on their first assignment. This sort of thing is normal with teenagers, and you don’t need to let it make you question your rules, your grading, or how you run your classroom!
READ MORE: HOW TO HANDLE GRADE DISPUTES
7. The Classroom Management Identity Crisis
The Event
You try to teach exactly like your mentor teacher or your favorite teacher from high school.
It doesn’t work.
Then you try teaching more like the well-respected veteran teacher down the hall.
That doesn’t work either.
Then you see the nicest, sweetest, most beloved teacher in the building teach. You try to copy her.
Still no dice.
What You’ll Think
“Everyone else knows what they’re doing except for me. I’m not cut out for this job. Everyone is probably judging me and thinking I’m failing and talking behind my back…”
What You Should Do
Borrow other people’s strategies, lessons, and routines that you see working.
Don’t try to borrow someone else’s personality.
The best classroom persona and classroom management system is one you can actually maintain every day. One that works for YOUR personality.
Students can spot fakeness from a mile away. Often, when we try to channel another successful, veteran teacher, it can look like we’re an actor on stage rather than a real person to whom kids can relate.
Instead of trying to copy someone else, take a deep breath. Remember that all of this takes time: it may take 2-3 years before you feel super confident as the guru, rockstar teacher at the front of the room with all the confidence in the world. For now, try just being yourself. How will YOU handle your classroom in a way that feels natural and sustainable for YOU? Try responding to poor behavior as you would with a little niece, nephew, or cousin (so long as that would be appropriate in a school setting). See if that feels more natural and works better for you.
8. The Crying
The Event
In your classroom.
In your car.
In the supply closet.
In the bathroom.
Okay. So you cried at/about work.
What You’ll Think
“Nobody who was really meant to be a teacher cried like this. Good teachers don’t get overwhelmed like this.”
What You Should Do
Make an effort to build a relationship with 1-2 trusted colleagues. Be careful about whom you trust, but do find someone you can talk to. Try to choose someone who is genuinely kind, caring, and NOT a known gossiper or “mean girl/guy.”
When everything adds up to a point where you feel overwhelmed (and maybe even cry), go talk to your trusted colleague. They will probably be able to relate, at least a little bit, and they will help you feel less alone.
Teaching can be overwhelming. It’s okay to have tough days in the classroom. It doesn’t mean you’ve chosen the wrong career.
PS: If you are seriously struggling emotionally, it can’t hurt to share how you are feeling with a trusted friend or family member to talk through things. You may also consider bringing it up with your doctor or finding a therapist to work with, especially if you are feeling very down, anxious, or unable to cope. Many, many teachers have looked for outside support, including people you know; it is more than okay for you to do so as well if you need to.
9. The Illnesses
The Event
You wake up sicker than a dog. Sicker than you’ve ever been in your life.
What You’ll Think
“How did I never get sick when I was IN school, but now I’m sick every other week??”
What You Should Do
Wash your hands every time you have time for a bathroom break, lunch break, or prep period. If you can’t do that, use hand sanitizer until you can get to a sink.
If at all possible, offer the kids a bottle of hand sanitizer by the kleenex, or encourage them to go wash their hands after blowing their noses.
Keep sanitizing wipes in your room. If something is going around, wipe the desktops after each school day (leave them wet & let the wet sanitizer dry on the desks rather than wiping it off right away).
Remind students to cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough. You would be SHOCKED how many ELEVENTH GRADERS have coughed or sneezed IN. MY. FACE. over the years.
Get enough sleep. Prioritize sleep ABOVE lesson plans and grading. (Yes, I said it. I mean it, too. It is more important that you get at least 7 hours of sleep each night than it is to have the perfect lessons or all of your grades finished each night. If you have to do a fun & games day (find 2 games at the bottom of this post!) or have kids do a no-prep webquest while you catch up on grading in class (grab mine here!), do that rather than lose sleep.)
Above all, accept that your immune system is about to enter the most intense boot camp it has ever experienced. For many teachers, their first year teaching is the sickest year of their lives. Lack of sleep, stress, and anxiety combined with 120+ students and the germs that go along with that many people coming in and out of your space each day = at least SOME sickness making its way past your defenses.
It’s hard to take a sick day when you’re a teacher, but remember that nobody wants you coming to school when you may be making others sick. Allow yourself to take a sick day when you are truly ill, and especially when you may be contageous!
10. The Realization: You Can’t Save Everyone
The Event
You discover that the most perfect lessons you can devise, Herculean effort on your part, and genuine care for each student and for your craft still cannot solve every problem.
What You’ll Think
“If I just work harder… do this one little thing extra… have a little more experience…“
What You Should Do
Try to internalize this understanding:
You control your teaching.
You do not control your students’ choices.
Focus on providing opportunities, support, and consistency each and every day for each and every student. Do what you can, but know that students will still have to do their part. It is OKAY if you don’t end up saving everyone.
There may be a lot of pressure from admin to pass everybody at the end of the semester, but it is totally okay if you did your best and some students still recieve a failing grade. You cannot make points appear out of thin air. That would be ethically wrong and could lose you your licence. So make peace with the fact that we cannot save them all, even though we really want to.
11. The Veteran Teacher Who Keeps You in the Game
The Event
You meet a veteran teacher who shows you how to calmly ignore 99% of the nonsense that currently keeps you awake at night.
What You’ll Think
“How is he/she so relaxed?”
What You Should Do
Every school has at least one teacher who has seen everything.
Find that person.
Ask if you can buy him or her a coffee, or lunch, or whatever seems approrpriate & “pick his/her brain.”
Listen more than you talk.
This person’s advice will save you years of unnecessary stress.
Don’t assume the older teachers around you don’t know what’s going on, aren’t with it, or don’t have the same teaching philosophy you do. They have aquired all sorts of wisdom over the years, and they are doing the same thing you are: trying to reach kids every day. So take your opportunity NOW to learn from them before they retire!
12. The End-of-Year Revelation
The Event
You look back at what you did in August and realize you had absolutely no idea what you were doing.
What You’ll Think
“Wow. I was terrible.”
What You Should Do
Celebrate!
That’s growth talking! Teachers who survive and thrive never started out “perfect.” They all had to improve over time. Every awesome teacher with tons of experience can point to dozens of mistakes he or she made in the first few years.
What experienced teachers did NOT do was quit. So don’t let not being perfect get you down. If you stick with it, you WILL become the rockstar, guru teacher you’ve always dreamed of being!
Conclusion
The thing about the first year of teaching is that the problems and struggles you face feel REALLY bad while you’re going through them, and often it feels like you’re the ONLY ONE, too. It feels like everybody has it figured out, and you’re over here drowning.
Then you talk to other teachers and discover that almost everyone has:
- cried in their car,
- gotten super sick,
- taught a lesson that bombed,
- received an angry parent email,
- questioned their career choice,
- stayed at school until well after dark,
- and wondered whether they were cut out for teaching.
Most of the time, those moments aren’t signs you’re failing. They don’t mean you aren’t in the right profession. They’re part of becoming the teacher you’ve always wanted to be.
So. Try to take it all in stride. Take deep breaths. Take time for your friends, your parents, your hobbies, your pets. And know that you CAN do this. Each year will be easier than the last. Eventually, you’ll be that veteran teacher who’s ruffled by nothing and who can pass your wisdom on to a newbie!
Connect with Me!
Do you have a “happens to every 1st year teacher” event to add to the list? Comment below to add to the discussion!
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Related Posts You Might Love:
- READ MORE: HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PARENTS
- READ MORE: HOW TO HANDLE GRADE DISPUTES
About the Author: Carly Lamp taught English 11/English III (American Lit) for 13 years & AP Literature for 10 years. She provides thorough, thoughtful, and rigorous materials, units, and resources for high school English teachers through her blog and her TPT store (both named English with Mrs. Lamp). She LOVES teaching high school English and helping new teachers and homeschool parents teach with confidence!
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